No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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