oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize