I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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