Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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