Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
