She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
