You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
