It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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