I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
