it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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