my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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