when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
