Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's never too late to be topless.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
