what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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