What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
