so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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