the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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