So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
