Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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