No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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