That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
