Kiss
Puke
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
