Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
