Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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