Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
