In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize