i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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