Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
