I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
