FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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