the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
