She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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