are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Everything about him screamed your future.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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