i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
