ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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