Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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