im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize