NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Life is so much better after having sex.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
