So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
