So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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