Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
