used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
