we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
