David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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