whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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