The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Congratulations! We have a period
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