So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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