come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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