Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
