I heard we made out
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just found puke in my bra..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
