there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
