I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize