Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
