We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
