you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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