We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dicks are not precious.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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