It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the day after is always just damage control
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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