I want to walk on stilts...naked
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
