i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my being single is dangerous.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Even my vagina gasped.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
