You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
