no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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