remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
