just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
