it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
